P!nk and a Graco Car Seat

My son tried to tell me tonight about the finite difference in beats in a dubstep selection. It was like he was trying to speak to me. I just know it. With all his might, he tried to draw my attention to the changes in the song (I don’t even know if I am supposed to refer to it as a “song.”) I feel really bad that I can’t hear […]

 

My Son, the Blackbird

Recently, I sorted through paperwork accumulated since our two adopted kids arrived, five years ago this September. Every medical document, communication with social workers, school form. Each piece of art or writing I thought they might like to have later. All dropped into boxes in no particular order, for five years. Hours after starting, I accomplished my goal: a box for our son, a box for our daughter, a box for […]

 

Apple Strudel Breakdowns and Other Things We Never Say About Grief

A man who looked just like my grandfather walked into the bakery where I was grabbing a treat for my son. When I saw him, my heart sank and I had a difficult time catching my breath. I wanted to run up to him, give him a hug, and grab an apple strudel to share so that we could sit and chat. Like we use to. I wanted to tell him all […]

 

Saying Goodbye to an Individualized Education Plan (IEP)

When it comes to our children’s education, my husband and I usually see eye-to-eye. Until recently. We don’t agree that there will come a time in our youngest son’s life when we will be able to say goodbye to his Individualized Education Plan (IEP). He has an IEP due to social/emotional delays. Some of his delays are there because he moved twelve times within the first four years of his life. […]

 

My Journey So Far With Postnatal Depression

PND (postnatal depression) crept up on me like a thief in the night, literally. It came out of nowhere. Family members had said that after I gave birth to my daughter last September, I was always having ideas about new things and going at one hundred miles per hour. I thought that was normal being a new mum, but it wasn’t really my personality to be on the go twenty-four/seven. […]

 

Grayson Willoughby: A Birth Story

The day our son was born began with (you guessed it) a mother’s intuition. Not Mallerie’s, but her mom’s. She woke up with a gut feeling and notified her boss that she would be working from home just in case Mallerie went into labor. The due date was just two days away, and Mallerie had shed a large portion of her mucus plug the night before. She began having steady contractions […]

 

I Can't Change My Son

And honestly, I need to stop trying. My youngest son is who he is, and I need to stop trying to change him into someone I think, or expect, him to be. My son is a tween who has a mood disorder, social/emotional delays, ADHD, and is academically gifted. He lives in his books, he loves everything about every movie he has ever seen. He seems to not be able […]

 

Hijab | Life Lessons From My Daughter

So many times as parents we get caught up with the things we want to teach our children that they overshadow the things our children are teaching us. On a regular basis, I catch myself looking at their splendor and carefree ways, their strength, and their ability to live in the present and often wish that the beauty and innocence of simpler times hadn’t evaded me so quickly. Recently, a certain […]

 

Miscarriage and the Dreaded Questions

I’ve long debated writing about this and sharing our story. But, I needed to write this to share my thoughts in hoping that it may help someone else and in the end help me find some peace and closure as well. *** Our journey to parenthood wasn’t white picket fences, but it also doesn’t involve thousands of dollars in fertility treatments. Ours is marred by loss, unknown answers to questions, […]

 

Vignette for Mom

A small Oregon town, a nonchalant fast food restaurant with almost nobody else inside, and less than twenty dollars. That’s all it took for me to learn a little more about the sort of person my mom really is. A full day of driving had worn both of us out, and all we wanted to do was just spend the night in the hotel room enjoying the fact that we […]